|Want To Make Your Marriage Successful ?
Today, with the hustle and bustle of busy lives, there seems to be little time for the marriage relationship. Couples need all the help they can get. Here it is :
Every marriage has rocks in the road. There are simple but effective ways to make your marriage stronger and perhaps even save it.
The first key is to make a commitment to one another. A couple must know that one another is COMMITTED to the marriage. Insecurity sends up steel walls as a defensive mechanism, because without knowing that your partner is totally committed to you, no matter what, you cannot fully give love or receive your spouse's love.
That is the meaning of the marriage vows. They say, "for better, for worse, in sickness, in health, til death do us part " You can't get close with a steel wall between you and your spouse. A feeling of security, knowing that you are both in it for the long haul, is a very good feeling, making the steel walls come crashing down and allowing your love for one another to flow freely.
Some wives complain that their husbands don't listen to them. Men don't talk a lot like women do. They process things more in their heads. When they do talk or listen it is for the purpose of solving a problem, not just to get feelings out. And if the wife is only expressing her feelings to her husband, he interprets that she is complaining about something, and may tune her out or get defensive.
When a woman talks to her husband, she should let him know that she is NOT complaining, and that sharing her feelings with him helps her feel better, and that he doesn't have to say anything if he doesn't want to, and that this is NOT an attack on him. Also, when a man walks in the door from a hard day's work, he wants to unwind. Don't bombard him at that time. Give him time to unwind, let him know you would like to talk when he is ready.
Some women feel that they do everything. They feel overwhelmed. Then they assume that because their spouses don't help or offer to help that they just don't care. This makes the the wife resentful. Here comes the steel wall, creeping up. The truth is sometimes your husband doesn't know that you need or want help. You say they should SEE it? Well, they don't think like we do. So go ahead and ask your husband to help you. Give him specific tasks. And when he is through, let him know how much you appreciated it. Soon he will be more than willing to help more.
It have preconceived expectations about each other or the way one another should act or do things. When you are living with someone, day in and day out, you tend to notice every little detailed thing that they do. It can get annoying. You have to accept your spouse, unconditionally. You have to love each other unconditionally.
We are all human. We all make mistakes and do dumb things once in a while. Also, you do things your way, don't expect you husband to do the same thing the same way. He is not you. Accept one another with all of your flaws and habits. Try to look at the positive attributes of your spouse, at what made you fall in love in the first place.
Don't let arguments get out of hand. Deal with the issue at hand. Try to listen without interrupting, then repeat what your spouse has said, to make sure that you understand HIS side of the issue. He should do the same. This is called respect. Without mutual respect, there cannot be a love relationship. NEVER drudge up the past, or stoop to name calling.
Give each other compliments. Be romantic. Spend quality and quantity time together, just the two of you.
Follow these simple suggestions to heal your marriage and make it stronger than ever.