Sex >>
Whatís the purpose of sex?

Whatís the purpose of sex? Of course, the obvious fact is true that:

1. Reproduction of the human race is the primary purpose of sex. Without it we wouldnít be here. But in the day-to-day world, we all realize that sex provides other things.

2. Another important purpose of sex is to provide us with pleasure. Letís go one step further, as we have already stated:

3. The pleasure found in sex is meant to create intimacy in a relationship. If sex was by design, we cannot indiscriminately copulate like animals without paying an emotion (and sometimes physical) price. Whenever someone sleeps around they inevitably create self-destructive emotional problems in their psyche. Over the years I have counseled a lot of people who are now having difficulties because of their past sex lives. Guilt and shame and bitterness are just a few of the emotional trauma produced by misusing sex (not to mention diseases).

4.Sex was designed to provide the means for bonding or gluing couples together into monogamous relationships. This explains why promiscuous sex can be so destructive to our primary monogamous relationship. And this also explains why sex without intimacy even in a monogamous setting can still be destructive to that relationship.

John Gray shares an interesting true illustration. While away from his wife on a speaking engagement, an attractive woman appeared at his hotel room door one evening. When she entered the room, the woman looked straight into his eyes and unzipped her skirt, letting it fall to the floor. Speechless, Grayís body rejoiced while his mind panicked.

Somehow, he managed to fight off his sexual desires and send the woman away, but that didnít stop his mind from rationalizing about the possibility of having an affair. He wondered what harm would be done if he had a little sex on the side, especially considering the fact that Grayís father had lived a double life for many years, carefully hiding his infidelity.

Returning home, Gray shared the experience with his wife, then asked for permission to start having affairs. It doesnít mean I donít love you. It would just be for fun. And I promise to be very discreet and do it only when I am out of town.

Of course his wife was crushed. She said to him: If I thought you were possibly having affairs when you left to teach your seminars, I would begin to close up. I would always be comparing myself and trying to measure up. I would never feel good enough. . . I donít know whether it is right or wrong. All I know is that it would be too difficult for me to stay open.

Few things in life can bring a couple closer than sex. But when sex is misused, it can create tremendous discordance in a coupleís emotional relationship. Sexual intimacy is destroyed without trust. But with mutual trust, intimacy can thrive.

True sensual intimacy can be so intense that itís able to neutralize the need for promiscuity. In contrast, promiscuity will destroy intimacy. This book will share with you how you can create intimacy through the sensual fusion of your two bodies, hearts and lives.

The gift of intimacy was meant to be used with one lover, the one soul mate to whom you have given your heart and life. I believe that the secret to profound happiness and sensual fulfillment lies for all of us in entering or staying in a committed relationship with one lover for life. You may have had many lovers in the past, but if you want to have great sex in the future, I highly recommend that you have it only in the context of one committed relationship.