Bedroom buzz - 10 things guys must know before making love the first time.

1. Get to know her romantic dreams
She may be the most contemporary girl you've come across, but she may still hold the image of her 'knight in shining armour'. Rarely does a husband fit in with the image of a 'Prince Charming', but it will ease her up if you talk about her dreams. The very fact that you're sensitive to her dreams will draw you closer to her.

2. Is she a virgin?
She may be, she may be not. Take it in crude words--either way, it should not be your problem. Of course, it is natural for you to be curious. But if you ask her, you might betray a certain lack of trust and a conservatism that few girls appreciate these days. Don't look out for signs on whether she has bled or not after the first time. Don't be obvious about your curiosity. Let the subject come up on its own. If your relationship is good, you will talk about it, sooner or later. Her past has little to do with your future.

3. Love her before you lust after her
There is that old saying "A man gives love to get sex, while a woman gives sex to get love." But the bridging of these natural differences doesn't come as easily as it sounds. A woman will open up to your lust and sexual desire if she is convinced about your love for her. If it is just her breasts or legs that you're after, she will get the vibes in no time and intimacy will be a long drawn issue between you.

4. Don't hurry her up
A woman's desire takes time to swell, and when it does, it takes time to ebb. If you, as her lover, take on the role of a sergeant major asking for a minute to minute account of combat between the sheets, she's had it! Don't forget, she can't climax as quickly as you can. Possibly, she may not climax at all for the first time. The "wham, bam, thankyou ma'am" is about the most off-putting thing that can happen to a woman in bed. Until the time you're both close enough to agree to quickies, make it slow and heady.

5. Ask her how and where
She may want to guide you, but chances are she seldom will. It is not just about women, even men take a while to tell their partners about where they would like to be touched and how. She may just expect you to take the initiative in asking her. And if you can talk to each other about the "how" and the "where", you can look forward to a lot of sexual thrill together.

6. Its okay if she says no for the first time
Many a "suhaag raat" is ruined because the bride is too shy, too scared, too anxious or too self-conscious to make love. She may even be having her period. It is okay. Look at it this way, it is not the easiest thing in the world to shed clothes and make passionate love with a man, who may well be a little bit of a stranger. She is only getting to know you. Don't take her multiple apprehensions for the first time as rejection. It is not about you, it is about her. And it is okay.

7. Don't be monosyllabic when she queries you.
It is not just men who are curious about a woman's past life. She will come with her own baggage of conditioning. She may be one who has been brought up to believe that well, "most men have done it before marriage." Her curiosity is not jealousy or animosity, so don't shrug her off with monosyllables. Answer her patiently and satisfactorily. This is also your opportunity to ease her into physical intimacy through emotional comfort.

8. Contraception is your concern too
Men who make love without even bothering to ask about any birth control precautions come across as callous and selfish. It is a fact that even now in our country, men think that contraception is a woman's headache. It is not. Make it a point to discuss a mutually suitable birth control way with her and she will know that you care too.

9. Hug her and hold her close
You know this one too. For women lovemaking is not just sex. Hugs, kisses or just cuddling up together can make for warm foreplay for most women. So whether you make love on the first night or not, be sure that you hold each other close and let your emotions seep into each other. The feel of a man's arms around her can reduce the most restrained of women to helpless mush. Try it, there are few things like it.

10. Demonstrate your dependability
Lovemaking may be a lot about passion, but marriage is about dependability. It is said that the way a man makes love demonstrates his character. If you really care for her, the bedroom is the place where you can demonstrate it in a hundred ways. On the flip side, if you are a selfish, pleasure seeking, narrow-focussed guy, be assured even that will come across. It is just the way you touch, kiss and feel a woman that says it all.